Lessons Learned from a Busy Mom

I don’t profess to have this parenting thing down, nor that I’m excellent at it. I see those women on the various online forums and Pinterest boards that make Martha Stuart look like she’s slacking. I sit back and wonder how do they do it, or perhaps…who did they pay? Heck, I’m doing my happy dance if we can sit at the dinner table as a family most nights with something hot on our plates that resembles food.

Yes, I realize that working full-time, having 2 younger girlies (Big Bits & Lil’ Bits), being a grad student, plus having both girlies in extra-curricular activities, and Big Bit’s in therapy (it rotates between speech, ABA, and early literacy groups) are grounds for some people to think I need to have my head checked. On one hand I wish I knew just how busy life was going to get, but who am I kidding, I seem to think I’m made from a different cut and can handle just about anything; and probably would have ignored the advice and insight anyways.

And Yes, I’m also aware that feeling invincible is also grounds for having my head checked, but I digress…

I’ve learned a few lessons over the past 18 months and had to do my fair share of swallowing my pride. Let’s face it, life lately is a giant juggling act and there are many balls up in the air; sometimes you catch them and other days you don’t. Sadly, some of the balls I’ve dropped are doozies!

There may have been a few instances where I forgot to pick Lil’ Bits up from preschool, and in my defense I drop the girls off and somebody else picks them up…so it’s not even part of regular routine. Ah yes, routine…every busy mom’s best friend. I thrive on routine during the insanity. It’s like a warm, fuzzy blanket and I’m completely lost when it’s missing. When I was asked if I signed up to bring a snack for the preschool graduation last spring I just about fell over from laughing so hard. I could barely remember to pick my kid up from preschool and they wanted me to remember to bring juice boxes?!? There was no need to even tease about tempting fate!

I’ve sent the girls to school in the wrong clothes. One day, poor Lil’ Bits wore her sister’s jeans that were 2 sizes too big and rolled up so much she looked like the incredible shrinking girl!

Then there was this morning. I think my Facebook status says it all:

Having one of those mornings. You know the kind where you rush around like a crazy woman spurting things from your mouth that sound like a tiny version of your mother is living inside you! Attempting to make lunches because you forgot to do it the night before, but you feel like a short-order cook because each girl likes something different, and then play the game of "herd the lizards" as the girls get their winter gear on. To then run to the car, clean it off and get it warm, and get them buckled up to only then ask the question...Does Lil’ Bits even have school today?!?

I could go on and on about my list of shame embarrassing moments lessons learned, and ramble on about the missed play dates, forgotten permission forms, incomplete homework assignments, sending the wrong lunches to school, and eating breakfast for dinner because I didn’t get a chance to get to the grocery store (however I did discover that making waffles with nutella and bananas was delicious!).

 Don’t even get me started on the things I’ve done at work during this crazy time. All I can say is I’m truly blessed to have an employer and co-workers who are understanding, or at least pretends to sympathize out of fear for sending me over the edge!

I wish I could say I’m getting better, but most days I feel like my hamster has fallen off the wheel and is curled up in the corner of the cage rocking in the fetal position. Don’t even get me started on what possessed me to sign up Lil’ Bits for competitive All-Star Cheerleading and have Big Bit’s in basketball. We’re now out 3 nights a week at practices and 4 if you include open tumbling, and then we have traveling cheer competitions on some weekends. It’s a rat race…or a gong-show, depending on what view you have.

Yes, it’s crazy, hectic, busy, and also filled with the funniest moments you could ever imagine. If I could take one thing away from the insanity of the past 18-months it would be to not take myself so seriously, and go with the flow (or as my July 2012 cohort has termed it “Rule #6”). When I’m stuck in a rut, feeling overwhelmed or completely lost and confused about my next move I’m reminded to take a deep breath and find the humour in it all. Through all of this, I’ve learned to laugh at myself.

I’m the furthest thing from perfection and my “winning” moments in the parenting Hall of Shame can attest to that, but I’m also human and don’t have any super powers (although Big Bit’s seems to think I do and who am I to tell her otherwise). I will however throw myself the biggest party when I’m done my MA and plan to hibernate, but even then I probably won’t because I can’t sit still very well.

If I could tell myself some advice it would be to treasure each day, misfortunes and all, and enjoy the ride. See life through my girlies eyes and find the whimsy in the every day. Take each hour and day as it comes, and don’t get caught up in the future, after all, there’s a reason why the “here and now” is called the present.

In the midst of my Pinterest failures, last-minute birthday party preparations, forgetfulness, and downright embarrassing moments (let’s just say it involved mismatched clothes that were inside out and I didn’t notice until I was already at the meeting), I’m looking back and seeing the memories, and trying not to focus on what I considered the missed opportunities. I’m starting to realize that my girlies won’t know what they missed because that moment in time was filled with something just as special.

So instead, I’m making sure we have our cuddle times and silly-joke telling times. Our spontaneous dance parties and impromptu karaoke sings-offs (thanks Nana!). Life won’t always be pretty but it will always be my choice as to how I walk that journey.