I don’t profess to have this
parenting thing down, nor that I’m excellent at it. I see those women on the
various online forums and Pinterest boards that make Martha Stuart look like
she’s slacking. I sit back and wonder how do they do it, or perhaps…who did
they pay? Heck, I’m doing my happy dance if we can sit at the dinner table as a
family most nights with something hot on our plates that resembles food.
Yes, I realize that working full-time,
having 2 younger girlies (Big Bits & Lil’ Bits), being a grad student, plus
having both girlies in extra-curricular activities, and Big Bit’s in therapy
(it rotates between speech, ABA, and early literacy groups) are grounds for
some people to think I need to have my head checked. On one hand I wish I knew
just how busy life was going to get, but who am I kidding, I seem to think I’m
made from a different cut and can handle just about anything; and probably
would have ignored the advice and insight anyways.
And Yes, I’m also aware that feeling invincible is
also grounds for having my head checked, but I digress…
I’ve learned a few lessons
over the past 18 months and had to do my fair share of swallowing my pride.
Let’s face it, life lately is a giant juggling act and there are many balls up
in the air; sometimes you catch them and other days you don’t. Sadly, some of
the balls I’ve dropped are doozies!
There may have been a few instances where I forgot to pick Lil’ Bits up
from preschool, and in my defense I drop the girls off and somebody else picks
them up…so it’s not even part of regular routine. Ah yes, routine…every busy
mom’s best friend. I thrive on routine during the insanity. It’s like a warm,
fuzzy blanket and I’m completely lost when it’s missing. When I was asked if I
signed up to bring a snack for the preschool graduation last spring I just
about fell over from laughing so hard. I could barely remember to pick my kid
up from preschool and they wanted me to remember to bring juice boxes?!? There
was no need to even tease about tempting fate!
I’ve sent the girls to
school in the wrong clothes. One day, poor Lil’ Bits wore her sister’s jeans
that were 2 sizes too big and rolled up so much she looked like the incredible
shrinking girl!
Then there was this morning.
I think my Facebook status says it all:
Having one of those mornings. You know the kind where you rush
around like a crazy woman spurting things from your mouth that sound like a
tiny version of your mother is living inside you! Attempting to make lunches
because you forgot to do it the night before, but you feel like a short-order
cook because each girl likes something different, and then play the game of
"herd the lizards" as the girls get their winter gear on. To then run
to the car, clean it off and get it warm, and get them buckled up to only then
ask the question...Does Lil’ Bits even have school today?!?
I could go on
and on about my list of shame embarrassing
moments lessons learned, and ramble on about the
missed play dates, forgotten permission forms, incomplete homework assignments,
sending the wrong lunches to school, and eating breakfast for dinner because I
didn’t get a chance to get to the grocery store (however I did discover that
making waffles with nutella and bananas was delicious!).
Don’t even get
me started on the things I’ve done at work during this crazy time. All I can
say is I’m truly blessed to have an employer and co-workers who are
understanding, or at least pretends to sympathize out of fear for sending me
over the edge!
I wish I could say I’m getting better, but most days
I feel like my hamster has fallen off the wheel and is curled up in the corner
of the cage rocking in the fetal position. Don’t even get me started on what
possessed me to sign up Lil’ Bits for competitive All-Star Cheerleading and have
Big Bit’s in basketball. We’re now out 3 nights a week at practices and 4 if
you include open tumbling, and then we have traveling cheer competitions on
some weekends. It’s a rat race…or a gong-show, depending on what view you have.
Yes, it’s crazy, hectic, busy, and also filled with
the funniest moments you could ever imagine. If I could take one thing away
from the insanity of the past 18-months it would be to not take myself so
seriously, and go with the flow (or as my July 2012 cohort has termed it “Rule
#6”). When I’m stuck in a rut, feeling overwhelmed or completely lost and
confused about my next move I’m reminded to take a deep breath and find the
humour in it all. Through all of this, I’ve learned to laugh at myself.
I’m the furthest thing from perfection and my
“winning” moments in the parenting Hall of Shame can attest to that, but I’m
also human and don’t have any super powers (although Big Bit’s seems to think I
do and who am I to tell her otherwise). I will however throw myself the biggest
party when I’m done my MA and plan to hibernate, but even then I probably won’t
because I can’t sit still very well.
If I could tell myself some advice it would be to
treasure each day, misfortunes and all, and enjoy the ride. See life through my
girlies eyes and find the whimsy in the every day. Take each hour and day as it
comes, and don’t get caught up in the future, after all, there’s a reason why
the “here and now” is called the present.
In the midst of my Pinterest failures, last-minute
birthday party preparations, forgetfulness, and downright embarrassing moments
(let’s just say it involved mismatched clothes that were inside out and I
didn’t notice until I was already at the meeting), I’m looking back and seeing
the memories, and trying not to focus on what I considered the missed opportunities.
I’m starting to realize that my girlies won’t know what they missed because that
moment in time was filled with something just as special.
So instead, I’m making sure we have our cuddle times
and silly-joke telling times. Our spontaneous dance parties and impromptu
karaoke sings-offs (thanks Nana!). Life won’t always be pretty but it will
always be my choice as to how I walk that journey.
